What you say matters, and when it comes to an emotionally charged situation such as a drug and alcohol intervention, it is crucial that you’re prepared with what to say and what not to say. This article explores what to say and what not to say during an intervention. You will learn key phrases that can support your loved one, what to avoid, and tips for effective communication.
Phrases To Say During an Intervention
If you’re hosting an intervention for a loved one struggling with addiction, here are some key phrases to include:
“I love and care about you.”
Expressing your love and stating how much you care is a great place to start. It helps set a supportive tone, showing the person that your intention is to help, not judge. It reinforces that the intervention is coming from a place of genuine concern for their well-being, which can make it easier for them to be open and receptive to the conversation.
“I believe in you.”
Beating addiction is not an easy thing to do. Assuring your loved one that you believe they can make positive changes can be a powerful motivator, especially if they’re feeling ashamed, hopeless, or alone. It reinforces that you see their potential and are rooting for their success.
“Treatment works and I’ll support you every step of the way.”
Offering encouragement about the effectiveness of treatment helps to break down fear or skepticism they may have about seeking help. Adding that you’ll support them throughout the process shows that they won’t be going through this journey alone. Your genuine reassurance can make the idea of treatment feel less scary, letting them know they’ll have a safety net in their journey.
“We’re here to help you, not to judge you.”
When confronted with their addiction and behaviors, your loved one may feel embarrassed or ashamed. It is a good idea to reassure them that the intervention is a safe space focused on offering support rather than judgment. Letting them know they’re not being judged can make them more willing to listen and consider seeking help.
Tips for Effective Communication During an Intervention
The way you say the things you say matters just as much as what you say. Follow these tips if you want to maintain healthy and effective communication when trying to convince your loved one to go to rehab.
- Remain Calm and Composed – Emotions can run high during an intervention, so it’s essential to stay calm. Speaking in a measured tone helps keep the discussion focused and reduces the chances of escalating into an argument.
- Use “I” Statements – Express how their actions affect you with statements like “I feel worried when…” or “I’m concerned because…” avoids sounding accusatory. This approach makes it clear that your feelings come from personal concern rather than judgment.
- Be Specific and Honest – Share specific examples of behaviors that worry you, rather than vague statements. Clear, specific examples help them understand the real impact of their actions and show that your concerns are genuine.
- Listen Without Interrupting – Give them space to respond, even if they’re defensive or upset. Showing that you’re willing to listen can foster trust and make it easier for them to open up.
What NOT to Do and Say While Staging an Intervention
Speaking with an accusatory tone, name-calling, or passing judgment are all easy ways to make your intervention fail. When staging an intervention, avoid the following:
- Don’t Use Accusatory Language – Avoid phrases like “You always” or “You never.” Accusations can lead to defensiveness and make the person feel attacked. Instead, focus on expressing concern without judgment.
- Don’t Bring Up Past Conflicts – This isn’t the time to rehash old arguments or grievances. Doing so can shift the focus away from the intervention’s purpose and may make the person feel criticized rather than supported.
- Don’t Threaten or Use Ultimatums – Avoid making extreme statements like “If you don’t stop, you’ll lose us.” While boundaries may eventually be necessary, threats can make the person feel cornered and less willing to accept help.
- Don’t Overwhelm Them with Multiple Voices at Once – During the intervention, it’s best to take turns speaking to avoid overwhelming them. Speaking over one another can create chaos and may cause them to tune out the message altogether.
- Avoid Using Guilt or Shame – Phrases like “Think about what you’re doing to us” or “How could you let it get this far?” only serve to make them feel worse. Shame is often already part of their struggle, and adding to it can push them further away.
Get Help for an Addicted Loved One
Addiction is a powerful disease that affects the entire family. At 1st Step Behavioral Health, we’re committed to supporting not just our clients, but their families, too. Families have numerous opportunities to participate in the treatment process and support loved ones who are checked into our facility. We also have a team of professionals here to support you during the intervention process.
To learn more about our treatment programs or to get assistance for an addicted loved one, please contact us today!
